Listen to a song Chuck wrote for Kevin: Solo Cell
(to download right click and save file, mac click/control save file as)

In no chronological order whatsoever (beware)

I’m writing this now at 11:36 PM on a Monday night (May 3rd), almost a month since the accident. Now I’m in too far, and I’ll be up all night typing away at my story of Kevin. At some point, I’ll wake up with 1000 or so pages of wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww on my computer screen. But for the time being, I’ll do my best to try and explain something that is nearly impossible to do in words, especially in plain English.

For all of you that know me, you know that I have a terrible memory. You’d think it makes it easier for me. But in fact, it actually makes it somewhat sad… and difficult. I’ve been trying muster up images and sounds, tastes and smells. They are fleeting more than they are flooding in unfortunately. They’re all there. It’s just a matter of pulling them out. I’ll tap it at some point and start flooding. I’ll try not to cover the stories that have already been shared.
In order to stop this from happening, I’m going to be writing and updating this constantly as the memories come in. My first order of business, Ms. Pacman meets Pacman (I’m Pacman… well I guess either way it makes me kind of gay. I’ll be Ms. Pac).

As far as my memory provides me, I met Kevin through Jim and Jolene. I was introduced to Kevin by Jim, and Jim was introduced to me by Jolene (since they just happened to live in the same dorm, directly below me). I had already talked to Jim a few times in the art building, but who would have thought he’d live so close and have such an amazing roommate (Jim, you’re amazing too). So what are the chances that I would have met Kevin and became friends with him in public? Maybe I would have through the art department and Jim. But I wouldn’t have made that early connection with him that helped me through college. I owe my sanity to him in a way.

Now I’ll go back to the story. I walk into Jim’s dorm room, and there is Kevin, lying on his bed. He was this goofy looking kid with the craziest, longest hair I’d ever seen, even longer than mine would ever get. Little did I know that he had been bitten by the same “change your appearance constantly with your hair at least once a month” bug. This is something that was trademarked to Kevin. He never looks the same in any two pictures. Now, I knew that I had seen him before walking to class. I had said some crazy things while passing by. Since we lived in the same dorm, it was inevitable that we’d run into one another. I believe I would say “where’s the beef?” to him. Don’t ask me why, I just did. You’d never forget someone like him, even after a single glance. His outward appearance was deceiving though. I believe I said hello to him when we first met. He was quiet and didn’t say much back. It wasn’t long before I stepped it up and began talked about cheese. And so was the beginning of a more open and non-shy relationship.

The name “Pubes” often got me in trouble while walking from and to class. I would often see Kevin walking across campus and yell at the top of my lungs “PUBES.” I learned not to do that after about 3 or 4 times. I stopped calling him pubes shortly afterward. I think I was the only one that called him Kevin.

Frisbee catches on the lawn at Magnolia were a favorite of Kevin’s, and all of ours. I remember he was the only one that would come out and toss the disc around… Even when everyone said they had too much work to do. We found a lawn chair one day and put it in front of the girl’s shower on the first floor. Does anyone remember the Voyeur Char? We also walked around and put “The Defog” stickers up all over campus. That was a waste, and got us in trouble. I remember Kevin had just put one on the sign for Willow dorms, and someone looked at us and smiled. I just smiled back, not realizing they were an RA. We ripped that sticker down per their request… But the rest of the stickers destroyed themselves when they melted in the rain. They were home-made laminated jobbies.

Kevin was someone that I always looked forward to hanging out with when I got back from classes. No matter how shitty I felt, I would always have someone to hang out with and cheer me up. Of course my other suitemates could do that as well (Geoff is crazy, and Ed was always great for a laugh. Gavin would reiterate this for me.) But no matter what we did, it was a good time.

For about the first month or so of freshmen year second semester, the two of us would play videogames and whatnot in my room, or Jim’s room while all the chumps studied their asses off. The internet was always a great source of entertainment as well, one of Kevin’s favorite being The Onion (the fake news). We eventually started picking up copies of the weekly world news as well. Our favorite article was about Exploding tires and female drivers being terrible. Kevin used to read them out loud. Imagine Kevin saying this in an Old man on the porch voice… “Sometimes you can’t even hear yourself think with all the noisy tire explosions. You’d be sitting on the porch, and all in a sudden, BOOM, another noisy tire explosion.” Jim always seemed to be doing work or painting right in the middle of the room while we were having fun. Jolene spent an awful lot of time with us there as well, laughing away, while Jim was hard at work (sorry Jim). Frat parties generally better at bringing the whole group together. This is where a hell of a lot of funny stories came from.
Unfortunately, most of these nights turn into a giant blur for me, since they are all fairly identical and my brain cells are missing that contained the information about those nights. A typical night would go something like this:

Someone makes a comment to Kevin about something (usually poking fun because of something stupid we were doing, or the way he looked) for some reason or another. Kevin then manages to outwit them before their brain can even send the message that he spoke. Usually somewhere down the line they would get back to us. This both provided fun and trouble. Regardless, the trouble was worth it... No pain, no gain. And admit it; the trouble is fun because it makes for great stories and exercise while running away. I think I’ll spare on those ones in my story though.

I’m sure other people can go into great detail about frat nights. I wasn’t one for the frats really, but people are bound to come up with some great ones... One of the funniest and craziest nights ever (sophomore year) was the Jagermeister (sp) night (you guys know what I’m talking about). It was one of those nights that you go out with the hopes of finding some girls to talk to and instead, you end up getting served massive amounts of liquor by frat dudes because nobody showed up. It was kind of gay, but we had a great time. We hit up three different frat houses, paid no cover charge really, and forgot where we were by the end of the night. After beer pong, a hell of a lot of shots, and more beer, I had never been more fucked up in my entire life. Good thing I was with the guys. I remember going to the second frat house. The following morning I received the shocking news that we had gone to a third.

The walk home from this night was a shoddy memory at best… But I did remember it. I think somehow we got to the Rat for a bite to eat (maybe this is my imagination). MATTTZIE STICKS!!!!! Food fights and whatnot. I believe we all got back to the dorm due to the fact that we kept falling on each other instead of the pavement or in the street. I don’t think Kevin remembered going out at all the following morning. We were all in pain. I slept on the bathroom floor that night. Bill puked. Jim did something I’m sure as well.

The house parties we went to were by far the most relaxing and bonding memories we all have. This is where we all became very close. Kristy’s parties were always a great time. New Year’s Eve at Bill’s was a blast. Parties at Jim, Kev, and Hector’s were amazing. The whole Beau block parties made for some memorable moments.

Halloween was always hilarious. I think we all (Jim, Kevin, I, and the other roomies like Bill and Chris Metting, who were always dressed to kill) were in constant battle to outdo each other. I think more so Kevin and I were trying to outdo each other. I think Jim gave up after seeing how cool our costumes were (How many times can you be a dead punk-rocker Jim?). Kev and I could be spotted on a regular basis at Good Will and other thrift shops, purchasing our regular apparel along with other finicky items we found ( an example, Jim’s beernoculars)… But when it came to Halloween, we didn’t fuck around. Kevin was a Pimp one year. I was a nerd (complete with the Legend of Zelda hat, currently worn by the bass player in my band). Kevin dressed up with balloons one night for a frat party. None of them were left by the end of the night because he kept thrusting the oblong balloons into both girls and guys. We did a lot of weird dressing up. But the best costumes of all were of course, the ROBOTS!

These costumes took ALL DAY to make (and no more than $10 or so to create). And it was well worth the few hours of fun we had (even though it wasn’t at a frat. It was at two separate parties). At the second party (Phil and Hardy’s house), I remember a girl gave me a hard time about my outfit. You know, one of those bitch Veruca Salt girls that think she’s deserves golden goose or something. She had said something to me along the lines of “And what the hell are you supposed to be?” Kevin quickly came to the rescue with “He’s a robot from the future of the 80’s.” An even better description than I had given to myself earlier. Phil and Hardy were laughing their asses off, despite the fact she was a friend of theirs. BTW, Kevin’s suit successfully held and kept cold over 6 beers at once. He was always there to defend me. I doubt I would have said anything back to the girl myself. He always said what I wish I had the balls to say in public.

Oh man, the robot stuff just got out of control. So, we began talking and acting like robots well before the costumes. The costumes were the death of the robot jokes. Due to a boy name Kevin Garrison (also known as KGarr to avoid the double-kevin entendre) we would record our voices on KGarr’s computer, then reverse the sentences and play them backwards to make them reverse-forwards… That made no sense… You figure it out. With the help of KGarr’s roommate Jon, We learned a lot of new phrases, such as “TOB SKEZ ME I” (give it a shot if you have the means to do so. All you need is a microphone and the capability to reverse a voice recording. Then reverse it, learn to say it backwards, and reverse it again). Another favorite of mine was “Hello Ducks. Take off your beaks.” This was a Jon quote which is an adaptation of the famous “take of your boobs” quote by Kevin. The duck thing comes into play since we constantly talked about the ducks, chased them, and fed them alcohol soaked bread on a home made fishing pole out of Jim and Ryan’s room. Ryan actually captured a duck and brought it into the 2nd floor bathroom at one point; the duck’s name, “toilet duck.” This led us to hanging out in Kgarr’s room and discovering his SNES catalogue. Most of the time, KGarr wasn’t even there. He even left his door unlocked for us, despite Jon’s wishes to keep it locked. I blame my poor grades sophomore year on SNES. We would also drink all of KGarr’s Arizona Green Tea (KGarr, I owe you a few gallons.)

At one point, we began to play Jurassic park for SNES after a night of drinking. We played it until 3:00 am or so in the morning (the night before I was attending a school ski trip…great idea). He promised that he wouldn’t beat the game without me. This was the only promise Kevin could not keep… Videogame promises. By the time I had returned from a long day of skiing, Kevin was still awake. He then explained the ending of the game to me. Thanks Kevin.

The SNES led us to re-explore our childhood favorites on NES. This was the beginning of our old skool phase. Along with Jon’s influence on us with his vinyl collection, Kevin and I began our own collections. Video games and music were easily the most important things in our lives during college. I really don’t know what the hell we would have done with ourselves. Who could have gone living without Ryan’s Gauntlet character “Fagoat the Minotaur” or notes of love on the SNES from Kevin to KGarr reading “Dear Kevin, please do not turn me off. Love, SNES.”

- Fagoat

Through the vast treasure trove of vinyl available at thrift shops (not really a treasure trove. more like an addict of Michael Jackson’s Thriller), we found some unbelievable music that opened our minds to many of the past’s artists; artists like Joe Jackson, Neil Young, Beatles, Elvis Costello, etc. We would swap back and fourth new and old artists we discovered and buried albums. A large amount of it was Beach boys, but we also bought anything and everything that looked cool. We started making trips to Vintage Vinyl and the Princeton Record Exchange.

His love for Beach Boys made the connection to Super Furry Animals easy. I remember sending him a song through Instant Messenger called “Ice Hockey Hair.” This was around the same time I had started listening to them (around 2001). The Beach-boy reminiscent harmonies and crazy computer and keyboard ambience proved to Kevin that there really is one band for everyone in the world. Then, for my birthday, we got tix to see them perform at the TLA in Philly. That was the BEST fucking concert I’d ever seen. We began swapping bands back and fourth with each other. At this point, he realized our taste in music was so similar that he found a place in his heart for my band, The Defog. He quickly became one of our biggest supporters and fans. This couldn’t have made me happier to know how much he really liked it. Sometimes I felt like I was writing material just for him.

He was present at almost every show. Just looking through my picture archive, I see how many pictures he appears in, and how happy he looked. It’s hard to play live now, realizing he’s not going to be there in person. But I think of him and consider his musical opinion whenever I write or play. In a way, it gives me a kind of relaxation and empowerment to just let loose and be myself. I feel like more of an artist.

My fondest memories of Kevin were during the months together over the summer of Junior and senior year. Just the two of us hanging out made it easier for him to open up more to me. I realize it’s hard to for guys to open up to each other. But times like these make for the best experiences. There was no one around to impress but ourselves. Although a lot of these conversations are a blur, as we conversed every day just about, we made a really close connection. I realized that to become close with someone, you don’t have to sit around and mope about the bad things. This is something I loved about him that everyone else noticed as well. He was the greatest listener in the world. He would take in everything you had to say, never once cutting you off. He was remarkably patient. I probably complained about things on a regular basis, but he would always make a positive out of it by making me laugh.

This was the same summer we took up skateboarding. I admit, we were both terrible, but we pushed each other to try new things. We made a rule that we would skate until someone bled. By the end of the summer, we had both spelt out names in blood on our boards. We had cuts, bruises, and ripped pants. Kevin had a giant hole in his shoe that he would have to duct-tape every time we would skate. I even got Kevin to drop in off of the half-pipe at the skate park, although the teeny-boppers were constantly schooling us the whole time.

He would paint and spackle all day, and I would take my summer courses on Tuesday and Thursday. I was there from Monday night till Friday, and then I would usually head home for the weekends. We listened to hours of music while drinking beers. We skateboarded while drinking beers. We did the street luge. We had conversations with the crazy drunken neighbor. We invented new products like the Menthol Destroyer cigarette. Most of the in-depth conversations were on the porch while blasting music. I’m sure the neighbors hated us. That hardly mattered one bit. The make-shift ramps were probably the funniest creations. We would take pieces of wood from the trash and try our best to avoid splinters and weak spots in the wood. We skated down the steps from Jim, Kevin and Hector’s apartment in The Crossings. We made ramps in the parking lots. I fell and broke a ramp, leaving a giant ass mark in the wood. We eventually got to a point where we could olley off of large steps and rail slide on things. It was great in every way. We also were in the best shape of our lives. Some days were just too hot to skate. This is when muted television and music helped us pass the time. We also played a fair amount of video games. Animal Crossing was a favorite of us both. Pikmin held a place in our hearts. We talked about what we wanted to do with the rest of our lives, and we always never had a clear answer; just a lot of crazy ideas of what would be fun and would make us happy. We very much so lived in the “now.”

After this summer, it became hard to keep up that kind of pace. Between my band, school, and spending time with my girlfriend Jess, I knew it would be impossible to hang out every day like we had been doing in the summer. I got to spend a decent amount of time with everyone, and after classes on certain days were “animal crossing” days. Those were more reminiscent of the original dorm days. We would also spend a lot of time at Cathy’s apartment, playing NES and engaging in conversations with Kevin and Caster.

The last time I remember visiting Kevin on a one-on-one basis was at his house (Lauren and Hector’s place). I surprised him with a late birthday gift of Atom and his Package on Vinyl, along with 4 cans of Guinness. It wasn’t Atom’s best album, but I couldn’t resist because one of the song titles was like 30 words long. It was hilarious; more of a conversational piece than a listener. We played horseshoes in the backyard and drank out of big plastic cups.
There were other get-togethers that we all were a part of. There were Philly trips of course, and plenty of other house parties. Another new year’s party with fireworks (I made a total drunken ass of myself and had to excuse myself from the party). These are more recent, and I think they have been covered by Jolene, Corey, Cathy, Lauren, and will be by Jim.
I can’t, for the life of me, think of a single negative thing when I think about Kevin. There was nothing bad about him. He could be annoying at times… But he never was to me. It was fun to watch him be annoying to others. Hahaha. Anyway, he changed the way I think of things so much that for the rest of my life I’ll be a growing part of him. And I like it that way (as long as he’s not growing on my ass). Everyone has osmosized bits and pieces of him and his personality. It would be impossible not to see him living in everyone that knew him. That is how we hold on to him, and will hold on to him forever. There is no way any of us could ever look at things the way we did before we met him. He was the catalyst to our chemistry. He brought us all closer, made us happier, and let us be who we really wanted to be; without fear.

For Kevin and everyone that loves him.

Love, Chuck